Monica Seles and Her Biggest Opponent – Food

I recently picked up a copy of Monica Seles’ book Getting a Grip: On My Body, My Mind, My Self. In it she talks she talks very openly and candidly about her biggest opponent, and it’s not something or someone she faced on the tennis court.  But it was a battle that began to destroy her sense of self, her career and her life. The opponent was food.

Monica Seles is best known for her incredible talent on the tennis court as a former World No. 1 player.  She won nine Grand Slam championships and was the youngest player ever to win the French Open.  Earlier this month she was even inducted into the Tennis Hall of Fame. But with all of the wins, trophy’s and accolades Monica struggled for years with her weight, yo-yo dieting and overeating.

Little did I know (nor did anyone else know) that Monica struggled with binge eating for 9 years.  She was someone who – literally – was at the top of her game, but inside she was fighting another battle.  She was struggling with self-doubt, self-hatred, fear and sadness that many of us can relate to.

The book is written from two sides which are nicely intertwined.  In one, she provides a very detailed, real view into the life of a tennis pro:  the travel, tournaments, competition, preparation, and the pace.  She recounts different matches and stories of her travels around the world.  As I’m someone who enjoys watching tennis, it was quite interesting for me to get an insider’s view of the sport.

But the other story in her book is about a person no different than you or me. A person who suffered with a lack of control over food because of unresolved emotional issues.

When Monica was at the top of her tennis game she was stabbed during a match in Germany.  Her injuries healed, but emotionally she was still hurting.  Then her beloved father, who was also her coach and biggest fan, was diagnosed with cancer and eventually the disease took his life.  Monica turned to food for comfort, solace, and as a way to get over the inner pain.  It was almost like a best friend, something that was always there for her.

In her book Monica talks very openly and candidly about these struggles.  Everything from raiding the hotel mini bar, to sneaking out in the middle of the night to get fast food.  But her struggle isn’t just about eating too much…

At times Monica would spend weeks and months dieting, watching diligently everything she ate, and even hired personal trainers to get her into shape.  She would spend hours at the gym but then come home and have a 3,000 calorie binge.  Along would come the feelings of shame and guilt, followed by days or weeks of deprivation to make up for it.  Then the cycle would start all over again.

This yo-yo cycle went on for years, and in the book Monica lets down her guard and is extremely honest, open, and vulnerable telling us her deepest feelings.  What’s more, there is no self-pity or “woe is me” attitude.

In the book she talks about the steps she took to take back control of her eating, her food — and her life.  Like anyone who overeats too often or has a binge eating disorder, the ‘hunger’ is never for food.

I’ve written and talked a lot about the power of the mindset and the need to work on your inner self before you can change your outer self.  And that’s exactly what Monica does to take back her life and win the battle.  After working on her inner self her outer self began to change.

Once she slowed down and started to explore life outside tennis she finally started to connect with her inner self and the desperation and obsession to eat started to subside. Due to an injury, she couldn’t play tennis for a while and was forced to look at who she really was. As the pace slowed, so did her intake of food. She began to identify with her feelings and most importantly – once she changed her focus from her obsession about losing the weight, she started to lose it. Effortlessly.  And you can too.

You see, whatever you focus on is what will manifest in your life.  If you focus all of  your time and energy on how awful you look and feel, well — you’ll continue to look and feel awful. When you shift your focus to something positive and explore new things, you’ll find you don’t have to diet or try to control things to change your body and weight. It was the same for me in my weight struggles and helped me recover from an eating disorder.

Personally I loved the book as many of her struggles I could relate to.  Though she may have the money, fame, and trophy’s on her mantle, she clearly shows that those things don’t bring true happiness.  The book isn’t a diet book nor about a quick fix.  Instead, it’s about learning how to enjoy food again, learning to let go of the past, and coming to peace with yourself.  Monica learns to reduce her anguish over the things she cannot control, and realizes that she can do a better job over those things she CAN control — such as her mindset and her eating.

It’s an inspiration for anyone struggling with their weight, overeating, or binge eating.  It will give you hope and let you know that you can turn your life around.  Starting with your inner self.

9 Healthy Tips to Surviving BBQ Season

It’s summertime and the season for firing up the grill for BBQ’s.  But if you’re trying to watch your weight, the big spread of food can bring about stress and it’s easy to overeat or feel stuffed.  With all of the chips, hamburgers, hot dogs, ribs, and mayo-laden potato salad around it’s no wonder.

Fortunately, I have some easy tips to help you stay on track, while keeping it healthy, enjoyable, and tasty:

1)  Make or bring a healthy appetizer. Though we all enjoy chips, dips and nachos, personally I’ve found once I dig in to them (especially when I’m really hungry) it can be hard to stop.  So instead I make it a habit to bring a healthy appetizer like veggies and hummus.

Good and easy choices are cut up (or baby) carrots, celery, broccoli, cauliflower, and bell pepper strips.  This way there’s at least one healthy snack to munch on while the grill is firing up.

2)  Fill your plate with the healthy items first. Instead of sitting down to a plate of high calorie ribs as your first course, load up on salad and veggies before you hit the grilled meats.  If I’m hosting the BBQ, I always prepare an easy healthy side-dish, like tomatoes & feta, or a black bean salad.  You’ll not only get a healthy, low-calorie dose of antioxidants, you’ll be less likely to overeat the higher calorie foods.

3)  Be mindful and eat slowly. It’s easy to get caught up in the energy (with the noise, music, and kids running around) but remember, the BBQ is a time to relax.  So sit down (no standing!) and take the time to enjoy the food.  Don’t just eat away mindlessly as that’s one of the easiest ways to overeat.

4)  Don’t deny yourself. If you’re dying for a hamburger, go ahead and have one.  And if you really want that potato salad (though it’s not the healthiest choice) be sure to take a small portion (see number 6 below).  If you deny yourself you’ll just end up overeating as you won’t be satisfied.

5)  Get rid of the “scarcity” mentality. It’s not like you can never have the foods again.  Years ago, I would stuff myself at a Fourth of July BBQ thinking that if I didn’t eat it now, I’d never see it again.  Then I started to realize that it was foolish.  It’s not like I  won’t ever see a burger on the grill again!

6)  Watch portion size. Here are 3 easy points of reference:

•  A tennis ball (or use your clenched fist as a rough estimate) = about one cup.  This measure is useful for sides (like potato salad, pasta salad, or cole slaw). Best to aim for 1 cup total of these starchy (and often calorie-laden) side dishes.

•  A deck of cards or your cell phone (provided you’ve upgraded in the last 10 years!) = about 3 ounces of meat.  Yup, that’s one serving.  This measure is useful for things like steak.

•  Your thumb = about 1 tablespoon.  This is handy when you’re trying to estimate salad dressing or a spread.  Remember, oftentimes salad dressings can have 50-100 calories per tablespoon, and mayo is about 100 calories per tablespoon. So be wary of how much your using.

7)  Watch those liquid & alcohol calories. Sweet and sugary drinks (think: margaritas and frozen daiquiris) can have a few hundred calories.  Not to mention after downing a few, you’re likely to lose a bit of self-control around the food (and we’ve all been there!)  I really enjoy a good beer or glass of wine, but I’m sure to not overdo it.

8)  Don’t forget to hydrate (with WATER, that is). Especially if you do have a drink or two of alcohol, switch it up with water.  I often find with clients that they forget to drink water when at a celebration, like a BBQ.  And try to skip the soda too.  Just go for nature’s best pick — water.

9)  Go easy on dessert. Sure, you can have dessert, but have a plan of attack.  I often wait a while after eating before digging into dessert to give my body a chance to digest and feel full.  I also scan the dessert table and do one of two things:

•   choose one that I really fancy  OR

•   choose two and take a small piece of each

Also, if there’s something healthy like fresh fruit being served, I take that first — but I do leave room for something a bit “guilty” — it is a celebration after all!

So go ahead and enjoy the food, just be smart about what you eat and how much.  Depriving yourself will get you nowhere fast, and one of the biggest mistakes people make when starting a healthy lifestyle.

It all comes down to making smart choices, not overdoing it, and taking the time to truly enjoy the food and the company of others.  Just come prepared, and you won’t have to stress over blowing your healthy lifestyle.