What the Diet Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know

I’ve seen too many women spend years dieting, spending hundreds (more like thousands) of dollars on weight-loss programs and diets.  And having self-esteem issues because they just ‘can’t follow the diet.’

Well, you might not like hearing this, but…

The multibillion dollar diet industry thrives on your failure.   They need you to keep coming back to them for business.  The diet and weight-loss industry is built on repeat business.  It would be a very short-lived business if we all succeeded the first time.

And let’s face it, if they could really show you how to lose weight AND keep it off — you wouldn’t have to keep purchasing their products, attend their meetings, and buying their special foods.

And some of the “big name” diet and weight-loss organizations are owned by food companies ….(makes you think, huh?).

Americans alone spend over $55 billion (yup, Billion!) dollars a YEAR on weight-loss products.  And as a nation we keep getting heavier and heavier.  I think the ‘industry’ is doing something right — to put money in their pocket.

And let’s face it — diets don’t work.  There are different statistics out there, some even saying that 95% of all people on a diet gain the weight back within a few years.  I can tell you from my own personal experience this has been true for me.

In addition, diets do NOT teach you how to trust yourself.  The basic message of a diet is:  if you trusted yourself, you would start eating at one end of your kitchen and chew all the way across the U.S.  (okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get the idea).  But basically they tell you that if you trusted yourself  you’d never stop eating.  So, you need to trust them and their ‘rules.’  And do what they say, as opposed to learning to listen to yourself.

Another thing that is that weight-loss should not be the goal.  It should be the by-product of learning how to listen to your body for when it’s hungry, what is needs, and what it wants.  In other words –a healthy relationship with food, weight and your body.   Because when you lose weight….you don’t lose the reasons WHY you turned to food in the first place.

Let me repeat that:  when you lose the weight, you don’t lose the reasons why you turned to food in the first place.

For these reasons, and many others, is why I started Eat Without Guilt in the first place.  I struggled for so long, yo-yo dieting, feeling like a failure, that I had no willpower, that I just couldn’t follow the “rules”, and that if I could ONLY just lose weight I would be happy, joyful, peaceful and content.  Losing weight would make me not only happier, but a better person.  Boy was I wrong.

I want to help as many people as I can break free of the diet and overeating cycle and live a healthier, more satisfying life.  And to set you free so you can continue it on your own.  And to learn how to support YOURSELF.

And that’s just one of the reasons why I created an Intuitive Eating Success Class – to set you free and give you the tools to continue it on your own…for life.  Without having to pay me over and over again.  I’d love nothing more to have you in my course, and then see you continue on your own without my help (I’m not kidding!).

You see (especially women) we are so good at supporting everyone around us that we tend to put ourselves at the bottom of the list. We are constantly under pressure, overwhelmed and have many demands at both home and at work. We expect ourselves to be superwomen….and everyone else does too.  So for many, this translates into having an unhealthy relationship with food. The only way we know to give ourselves a break or a ‘treat’ is to eat something.

I want women (and men) to get back on the path to returning to your own natural instinct to eat when you are hungry and stop when you feel comfortably full or satisfied. So you never have to spend a dime on weight loss products again.  Ever.

My intuitive eating course, and my eat without guilt philosophy, is not a diet or plan.  Instead, it’s about  regaining the pleasure and enjoyment of eating without guilt and punishment.  About learning how to listen to yourself and your body.  How to discover if you’re really hungry, what you’re hungry for, and to bring complete awareness to what you are eating.  How to begin creating lasting peace with food.

About how to uncover your automatic response to emotions – and how to steer it away from food (because so many of us turn to food for emotional reasons, not physical ones.  Or we’ve been dieting or overeating for so many years that we no longer ‘know’ the difference between to two).

It’s about helping you respect your body and do what’s right for YOU (not what the newest ”study” or weight-loss guru says).

That’s what I’m all about.  Helping people get back to learning how to trust themselves again. And be really comfortable around food.  And not dieting and feeding the diet industry.  But to learn how to feed ourselves, our body and soul, and treating ourselves with kindness….NOW, not when we lose the ‘weight.’

So, what are your thoughts?  Do you agree, do you think I’m being too negative (about the diet industry)?  What has been your experience with diets?  I’d love to hear your thoughts — and yes, even if you don’t agree with what I say.  That’s the main reason for this post!  To start a discussion…

(for information about the upcoming Intuitive Eating Success class, just click here)

How to Eat Right and Still Enjoy the Holidays

There are so many temptations during the holiday season it’s no wonder many of us get stressed over how to get through it all while still being able to fit into our jeans come January 1st.

As someone who loves food, giving up great food during the holidays for me isn’t an option.  And it shouldn’t be for you either.

So here are a few ways to bring pleasure — not the pounds — to the holiday festivities:

1)  Aim to maintain. I recently heard about someone who skipped her friends holiday party because she was dieting and thought there would be too many tempting foods.   To me that’s unfortunate and not so healthy.  Instead of trying to completely overhaul your diet and lose weight during the holidays, try to maintain your current weight.

And if you really do want to lose weight, be realistic about just how much you can lose and don’t beat yourself for having a few treats.

2)  Don’t completely deny yourself of holiday foods. This time of year is all about celebration and festivity, and food is an integral part of that.  When you tell yourself you can’t have certain foods, you want them even more (studies even prove this).  That’s when overeating, bingeing and feeling out of control becomes part of your holiday experience.  So eat the holiday foods you enjoy, just don’t over-do it.

3)  Eat three square meals a day, just like you should do all-year-round.  It might make sense on paper to cut calories by skipping meals during the day when you know you’re going to a holiday party or dinner later.  But this strategy almost always backfires and leads to overeating, low energy, guilt, and generally feeling bad.

So take the time to have a decent breakfast that will help you feel full and keep your energy up.

4)  Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. No matter what you eat, enjoy it.  I’d rather see someone take a piece of cake and truly savor and enjoy it, than someone eating a salad and hating every minute of it, or wishing they were eating the cake instead.

5)  Keep liquid calories in check. Oftentimes holiday drinks like eggnog are loaded with calories, sugar and fat. So beware.  Also, best to limit all alcohol to one or two drinks.  It not only adds extra calories, but after a few drinks its way to easy to reach for more food — even if you’re full. Often I’ll alternate between water and alcohol.  This not only helps me cut down on alcoholic beverages, but keeps me hydrated so I don’t get a headache the next day!

6)  Just say know to the junk food. Don’t blow your calories on things like chips or a candy bar.  Instead, save your snack allowance for a decadent dish or your favorite dessert that will make you feel more satisfied.  There are so many good treats around this time of year, best to have a small piece of something really good than the normal crappy, junk food!

7)  Add exercise whenever and wherever you can. I try to maintain my exercise routine, but realize it can get hard when things get busy.  But even if you can fit it one or two short sessions a week, that’s good.  It will not only help you handle the stress of the busy season better, but it will keep you feeling fit and less likely to over-indulge later on at the party.

8)   Share the joy of the food. Often I’ll take a piece of cake, have a few bites, and then give the rest to my husband.  And if he doesn’t want it I’ll just push it aside.  And if you love to bake (like I do!) give some away to friends and neighbors.  I enjoy baking cookies, but I can only eat so many without putting on the pounds.  So I’ll often share it with others, and they’re really happy!

So make this holiday season one of pleasure and one you remember for the good times with family and friends.  Relax, enjoy yourself, and eat in moderation so you don’t have to forgo all the delicious holiday treats.

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The Secret to Surviving Thanksgiving Without the Weight Gain

Thanksgiving is often a stressful time for dieters or those trying to maintain their weight loss.  ”Should I have the turkey without the gravy?  Can I really stick to the veggies and not have some of the mashed potatoes made with real butter?”  It’s like we’re in a constant dilemma all day long.

We worry about how many calories are in each serving, or can we nibble on appetizers without going overboard, or can we really just take one serving of everything?  So little time, yet so much on our minds.

Last year I wrote about How to Enjoy Thanksgiving Without the Guilt, which is a good read for those of you worrying about feeling guilty after eating a bit more than you normally do, and how to deal with the voices in your head telling you to eat the carrots when what you really want is the homemade stuffing.

But today I’m going to take it one step further.

You’re probably looking for some “tips” on how to best deal with Thanksgiving.  And you’ve probably already heard them all somewhere:  eat breakfast (great advice), don’t eat the appetizers (good advice, but often tough to resist), drink only water (yeah, right!), don’t eat seconds (c’mon, who are we trying to kid…), wear tight fitting clothes so you don’t eat too much (how much fun is that?!), and just have one small serving of dessert (it’s Thanksgiving for goodness sakes!).

While these all have good intentions behind them — and some even really good advice — but the problem is there are too many “rules.”  Now this doesn’t mean throw all caution to the wind.  You need to be realistic about how much you can really eat (and how terrible you’ll feel if you stuff yourself).

So my one big piece of advice this Thanksgiving is this:  use common sense.

Yeah, I know, not exactly rocket science….I know.

But think about it.  You know you should have breakfast and not arrive at the Thanksgiving dinner table famished….you know you should get out for some exercise during the day (preferably in the morning before the big meal)…you know you shouldn’t pile your plate so high that it’s a mini-mountain…and you know that having 3 or more desserts is not the best route to keeping the pounds off.

So listen to yourself, your inner voice, and your inner guidance, and do what you know is best.

Enjoy the day, enjoy the food, and eat with real pleasure.  Because that’s what Thanksgiving is all about, don’t you think?

What Kids Can Teach You About Weight Loss

I watched one of the most powerful Oprah’s shows yesterday.  The subject was an epidemic that is affecting the health of America’s children, and what’s also affecting too many adults.  It’s not what we usually associate with adolescents: drug addiction, alcohol abuse, or smoking.  It’s something more powerful and affecting more kids (AND adults) than ever before: obesity.

The children on the show show took part in a day-long intervention, just like what is often needed when children (or adults) abuse drugs or alcohol.  But for these kids their drug of choice was food.  

The intervention was to get to the real reason why these kids ate.  And like Oprah said on the show, the reason they got overweight “goes way beyond junk food.” 

On the show we got an inside look of these children’s lives.  They spend their days in shame, guilt, depression, discomfort, stress or pain.  In one way or another, they were hurting inside and ate for comfort, in search of acceptance, or to cover up emotions. 

These kids also have to deal with the pressures and mistreatment from society.  As one of the children said,

“People look at my outer layers and not my inner beauty, and don’t recognize what’s on my inside and automatically judge me because of my weight.”

People talk behind these kid’s backs, treat them differently than other “normal” children, and judge them by what’s on the outside instead of what’s on the inside.

The intervention was a way to look beyond the food, and for the parents (and society) to understand what is really going on.  It’s not just about eating right and exercising.  And it’s not just about food.  Food is only a part of the issue. 

The real issue is the emptiness many people feel inside.  

As one of the leaders of the intervention said:

“Today what we are intentionally doing is inviting a conversation around food, around weight, about the emotions behind the weight — because it’s not about our weight.  It’s ‘What is the hunger for?  What are we hungry for?’”

As I watched the show I couldn’t help think of the parallel with adults.  So many adults are hungry for more than just food, they’re hungry for something more in their lives —  they’re hungry for acceptance, love, comfort, a satisfying job, or a caring relationship.

The counselors on the show then explained that before anyone (children OR adults) can begin to work on the larger issue – health – they need to tap inside and find the place where they hide feelings they cannot express or don’t express: 

“If anger is not expressed, it goes inside the body and we start to eat or numb it out,” they said.

So many people today have built-up emotions, anger, or feelings inside that they’re not letting out.  We also have many stresses.  We’re juggling work, career, family, social life, and other everyday pressures.  But instead of expressing our feelings, we’re keeping them inside and many of us turn to food to make us feel better.

On Oprah’s website, the counselors give tips for overweight teens, but  they are just as useful for adults, and most of them I use with my own clients. The counselors stress the importance of getting support and being proactive about your health.  They suggest seeing a nutrition specialist, and taking fitness or nutrition classes, as they are “great ways to empower yourself, keep you motivated, and change your life.”

I suggest you read the tips and while doing so, think about your own situation:  Why do you sometimes overeat or not eat healthy?  What feelings are you not expressing and using food to treat instead?  What’s holding you back from empowering yourself and your family?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, so please comment below.

Enjoy Thanksgiving Without the Guilt

Whether you’re trying to lose – or simply maintain –  weight, this time of year causes a lot of dread and anxiety.  You want to get through the holiday season without putting on extra pounds, without feeling fat, and without the guilt of eating holiday foods.

And then we all have the “shoulder angel” and “shoulder devil” talking to us.  You know, those voices in our heads, the two that constantly fight with each other about what to do.

You’ve probably seen them in cartoons.  On one side of the shoulder is an angel, representing good or “our conscience.”  On the other shoulder is the devil, representing bad or “tempation.”  

It seems these two follow us around, especially during the holidays.  You’ll be at the Thanksgiving table and all the delicious  food is being passed around.  You have those two guys on your shoulder.  The good one says, “Oh no, I can’t give up on my weight-loss efforts and my dream of being slim.  I’ve given up before and can’t do it again this year.”   While the bad one says, “Hey, it’s Thanksgiving for crying out loud.  You’re supposed to gorge yourself, it’s okay.  It’s only one day.”

So who to listen to?  If you eat like you normally do on Thanksgiving, then you’ll feel terrible afterwards, and then feel shame for giving up and not realizing your dream.  But if you diet and watch what you eat, then you miss out on all the fun.  

There’s no way to win, right?  Wrong!  

But what to do?  Listen to the shoulder angel or the shoulder devil?? 

Well, the answer is…both!

You see, Thanksgiving is about enjoyment.  Enjoying spending time with family, while being thankful for all that you have.  But at the same time, you have to understand the difference between enjoyment and gluttony.  It’s about having balance.

Here are some things to think about which can help you find that balance:

Get Rid of the Pressure

There’s already so much pressure on the holidays, there’s no need to add more to it by restricting yourself. Many experts will tell you to eat low-fat versions of your favorite foods, or only eat when you’re hungry, or even “wear tight-fitting clothes” so you’re less tempted to overeat!   Personally I disagree with these.  Besides, easier said than done, right!

In my opinion, this isn’t the time to be eating low-fat foods.  Thanksgiving is a day for enjoyment — to enjoy the food and being in the company of family and friends. 

What’s more important to you on Thanksgiving?  Eating a low-fat food, or spending time with family or catching up with friends?  Let these be your focus for the day and not the pressure of the food.

Take Pleasure

Thanksgiving is one of those days when you should allow yourself to be fulfilled and enjoy the foods.  

Take off the chains of dieting.  Don’t restrict yourself from eating your favorite foods. Thanksgiving is supposed to be pleasurable.  

If Aunt Suzie makes your favorite pecan pie, then go ahead and have some.  But enjoy it — really enjoy it.  Take the time to savor it.  Your aunt probably put a lot of time and effort into making the pie, so honor the food and enjoy it mindfully. 

Realize it’s Okay to Overeat

Don’t worry if you overeat a little.  It’s okay.  No one is perfect and it’s quite normal to eat a bit more than you normally do. The weight will come off later when you go back to eating more healthy.

At the same time, if you miss out on some of the food, that’s fine too.  You don’t have to eat ALL of your favorite foods, just eat some.  There will always be another occasion to eat those other foods.  We live in a world of abundance and it’s not like you won’t see that food again.

As always, it’s up to you what and how you eat.  If you really want to overindulge, that’s okay.  If you want to be careful and not eat too much, that’s fine too.  Just don’t feel guilty afterwards. 

Thanksgiving is one of those days when you should allow yourself to indulge a little and enjoy the foods. It’s supposed to be pleasurable, you just need to take away the “pressure” of doing everything right.  

So relax…. and enjoy!