I’ve seen too many women spend years dieting, spending hundreds (more like thousands) of dollars on weight-loss programs and diets.  And having self-esteem issues because they just ‘can’t follow the diet.’

Well, you might not like hearing this, but…

The multibillion dollar diet industry thrives on your failure.   They need you to keep coming back to them for business.  The diet and weight-loss industry is built on repeat business.  It would be a very short-lived business if we all succeeded the first time.

And let’s face it, if they could really show you how to lose weight AND keep it off — you wouldn’t have to keep purchasing their products, attend their meetings, and buying their special foods.

And some of the “big name” diet and weight-loss organizations are owned by food companies ….(makes you think, huh?).

Americans alone spend over $55 billion (yup, Billion!) dollars a YEAR on weight-loss products.  And as a nation we keep getting heavier and heavier.  I think the ‘industry’ is doing something right — to put money in their pocket.

And let’s face it — diets don’t work.  There are different statistics out there, some even saying that 95% of all people on a diet gain the weight back within a few years.  I can tell you from my own personal experience this has been true for me.

In addition, diets do NOT teach you how to trust yourself.  The basic message of a diet is:  if you trusted yourself, you would start eating at one end of your kitchen and chew all the way across the U.S.  (okay, I’m exaggerating, but you get the idea).  But basically they tell you that if you trusted yourself  you’d never stop eating.  So, you need to trust them and their ‘rules.’  And do what they say, as opposed to learning to listen to yourself.

Another thing that is that weight-loss should not be the goal.  It should be the by-product of learning how to listen to your body for when it’s hungry, what is needs, and what it wants.  In other words –a healthy relationship with food, weight and your body.   Because when you lose weight….you don’t lose the reasons WHY you turned to food in the first place.

Let me repeat that:  when you lose the weight, you don’t lose the reasons why you turned to food in the first place.

For these reasons, and many others, is why I started Eat Without Guilt in the first place.  I struggled for so long, yo-yo dieting, feeling like a failure, that I had no willpower, that I just couldn’t follow the “rules”, and that if I could ONLY just lose weight I would be happy, joyful, peaceful and content.  Losing weight would make me not only happier, but a better person.  Boy was I wrong.

I want to help as many people as I can break free of the diet and overeating cycle and live a healthier, more satisfying life.  And to set you free so you can continue it on your own.  And to learn how to support YOURSELF.

And that’s just one of the reasons why I created an Intuitive Eating Success Class – to set you free and give you the tools to continue it on your own…for life.  Without having to pay me over and over again.  I’d love nothing more to have you in my course, and then see you continue on your own without my help (I’m not kidding!).

You see (especially women) we are so good at supporting everyone around us that we tend to put ourselves at the bottom of the list. We are constantly under pressure, overwhelmed and have many demands at both home and at work. We expect ourselves to be superwomen….and everyone else does too.  So for many, this translates into having an unhealthy relationship with food. The only way we know to give ourselves a break or a ‘treat’ is to eat something.

I want women (and men) to get back on the path to returning to your own natural instinct to eat when you are hungry and stop when you feel comfortably full or satisfied. So you never have to spend a dime on weight loss products again.  Ever.

My intuitive eating course, and my eat without guilt philosophy, is not a diet or plan.  Instead, it’s about  regaining the pleasure and enjoyment of eating without guilt and punishment.  About learning how to listen to yourself and your body.  How to discover if you’re really hungry, what you’re hungry for, and to bring complete awareness to what you are eating.  How to begin creating lasting peace with food.

About how to uncover your automatic response to emotions – and how to steer it away from food (because so many of us turn to food for emotional reasons, not physical ones.  Or we’ve been dieting or overeating for so many years that we no longer ‘know’ the difference between to two).

It’s about helping you respect your body and do what’s right for YOU (not what the newest ”study” or weight-loss guru says).

That’s what I’m all about.  Helping people get back to learning how to trust themselves again. And be really comfortable around food.  And not dieting and feeding the diet industry.  But to learn how to feed ourselves, our body and soul, and treating ourselves with kindness….NOW, not when we lose the ‘weight.’

So, what are your thoughts?  Do you agree, do you think I’m being too negative (about the diet industry)?  What has been your experience with diets?  I’d love to hear your thoughts — and yes, even if you don’t agree with what I say.  That’s the main reason for this post!  To start a discussion…

(for information about the upcoming Intuitive Eating Success class, just click here)

©2010 Eat Without Guilt. All Rights Reserved.

Note:  This article I originally wrote  for the blog of Miz Fit Online as a guest post last year (you can read the original post here).  But it’s message and usefulness has not changed, so I wanted to share it with you this week.  -Dinneen

As a weight loss coach and mentor, I help many women lose weight, look better AND feel better, and I’m constantly meeting women who struggle with food and their weight.  And I get it, as I’ve been there myself.

For years I struggled to lose weight, and even when I was finally  “thin,” I spent many more years eating low-fat, low-calorie, and low-tasting foods.  Food and eating was not an enjoyment for me.  Any food I ate that was remotely decadent or a “bad” food, left me feeling guilty and eventually lead me to overeat.  And so started a vicious cycle of dieting, losing weight, putting it back on, dieting again, and on and on.

What I ate either helped me lose weight, or gain weight, or so I thought.  It wasn’t until a trip to Italy, and then a few years later living & working in France, did I learn that I could enjoy foods without guilt, lose weight and stay slim.

My world was literally turned upside down.   And so was my life.

And so began a journey of education, self-awareness, and self-growth that led me to the extraordinary life I live today.  I can eat the foods I love, and still stay healthy, and yes, slim.

As a weight-loss coach and mentor I help women and men lose weight, get healthy, and feel good about themselves.  And part of that is helping them with their relationship with food.

You see, it wasn’t’ until I changed my relationship with food was I able to lose weight and keep if off, and without deprivation.  Even Oprah Winfrey has had ups & downs with her weight and, in my opinion, she will not keep it off until she has a healthy relationship with food. (for more about my thoughts about Oprah and her weight, visit my blog post from last year).

In my business I’ve come across women (and young girls) who suffer from an eating disorder.  Eating disorders arise from a variety of physical, emotional, and social issues, all of which need to be addressed for effective prevention and treatment.

This week is the National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.  If you suspect, or know, someone suffering from the disease please visit the website of the National Eating Disorders Association.  There you will find an abundance of information and resources to help support those affected by eating disorders.  It is there to help a friend, family member, colleague, or loved one get help.

In the United States alone, as many as 10 million females and 1 million males suffer from an eating disorder, and approximate 15 million more are suffering with a binge eating disorder.*  More people die every year from an eating disorder than any other mental illness.  Yes, it’s that bad and that prevalent.

Also, statistics say that more than one in three ‘normal’ dieters progress to pathological dieting (that is, it becomes a very unhealthy obsession with food & weight).

So help spread the word. I see too many women, of all ages, obsessed with their weight and their bodies – and they look fine!   In my mission to help women lose weight and be HEALTHY, it is also my mission help women feel good in their body, no matter what the scale says.  Now that is something to be proud of.  I sure am.

So check out the National Eating Disorders Association, and help someone who needs it.

* 2010 figures, source:  National Eating Disorders Association

©2010 Eat Without Guilt. All Rights Reserved.

Society today is so hung up on outward appearances.  But part of my mission in life is to help you see your INNER BEAUTY.

I believe there is nothing better than seeing a woman who exudes beauty from the inside….and with that her outside beauty shines, flaws and all.

Which reminds me of a quote from Sophia Loren, a woman who truly had both inner and outer beauty:

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical”

So tell me:  How do YOU define inner beauty and what does it mean to you?  What makes a woman beautiful on the inside?  And how does she (or you) find it?

©2010 Eat Without Guilt. All Rights Reserved.

And it’s causing a big debate.

The big debate is because Kelly looks a lot thinner on the magazine cover than she does in recent photos.  At this point in her life she is not as thin as the cover photo portrays.  And to make it even more interesting, the theme for the September issue is all about “Total Body Confidence.”

Both the magazine and Kelly Clarkson admit the photo was retouched — and let’s be honest here, ALL magazine covers are retouched, airbrushed and photoshopped.

The magazine’s editor-in-chief, Lucy Danziger, told Entertainment Tonight: “Yes, of course we do post-production corrections on our images. Kelly Clarkson exudes confidence, and is a great role model for women of all sizes and stages of their life. She works out and is strong and healthy, and our picture shows her confidence and beauty. She literally glows from within. That is the feeling we’d all want to have. We love this cover and we love Kelly Clarkson.”

Kelly has had many ups and downs with her weight and is always very open about it.  She’s happy with her size and shape, no matter what the scale, the press, or what other people say.  She’s really comfortable in her own skin (go Kelly!!)  This is a woman who truly doesn’t care what other people think.  Even in her interview for the magazine’s cover story Kelly said:   “My happy weight changes.  Sometimes I eat more; sometimes I play more. I’ll be different sizes all the time. When people talk about my weight, I’m like, ‘You seem to have a problem with it; I don’t. I’m fine!’ I’ve never felt uncomfortable on the red carpet or anything.”

This morning I saw a segment on The Today Show where they had on the magazine’s editor-in-chief, defending the magazine’s actions.  They also had Emme, the well known plus-size model and host of the tv show “More To Love,” representing the other side of the issue .  She talked about the changes going on in society and that people want to see more realistic images (though she does agree with some basic retouching….but not going as far as changing her shape).

I‘d like to know how YOU feel about this whole issue:

Is SELF magazine (and other magazines) sending the wrong message to our girls and all us women (and men)?

Or is all of this retouching and photoshopping okay, as long as the person themselves is fine with it and comfortable in their own skin (like Kelly Clarkson)?

Is it okay to photoshop a few wrinkles and bags under the eyes, but is making someone look thinner going too far?

And where do we draw the line in all of this?

Speak up and tell us what you think!

©2010 Eat Without Guilt. All Rights Reserved.

In 2007 Dara was the Weight-Loss Diary columnist for Shape magazine, where more than a million readers followed her weight loss journey as she attempted to not only shed pounds, but also old attitudes.

In one column Dara reflected how her body image had been shaped in part by her mother’s feelings about her own body.  A mom herself, Dara realized the huge impact she could have on her own daughter’s body image.  This led her to write her book where through numerous interviews with women and girls, as well as her own experiences with her daughter, Dara explains the powerful effect that a mother’s body image has on her daughter and how parents can break the cycle.  

As this is a subject dear to my heart, and something I also help my clients with, I asked Dara to share some of her amazing insight!

Dara, in 2007 you were the Weight Loss Diary columnist for Shape in, a woman’s fitness magazine.  How has losing weight and having a better body image changed your life?

In 2007, I lost 26 pounds as Shape magazine’s Weight-Loss Diary columnist. More than anything else, the experience taught me to let go of the idealized image of perfection that I’d been holding on to and to embrace the best body I could have. I learned that by eating well and making exercise a priority, I could be the best version of myself. After years of struggling with my self-image, it was an incredibly freeing experience! 

How long did it take you to achieve your ideal weight, and how important is it to take the weight off slowly as opposed to the “quick fix” everyone’s always looking for?

It took me about 10 months to get down to my goal weight of 125 lbs., which was the weight I was on my wedding day. Taking the weight off slowly through what was essentially a lifestyle overhaul really increased my chances of keeping the pounds off for good. Sure, some weight-loss methods let you see very fast results, but they’re not usually easy or healthy to maintain over time.  

How did having a team of professionals (a personal trainer, a dietician and a life coach) help you in your weight loss journey?  What challenges did they help you face and do you think you could have lost the weight on your own?

 My team of professionals was vital in helping me take off the weight and I learned something different from each of them. My trainer taught me the value of weight workouts in building lean muscle and boosting metabolism – something I still do to this day, even though I now work out at home. My dietitian taught me that while weight loss is ultimately about calories in versus calories out, eating better quality foods like lean proteins, plenty of vegetables and complex carbohydrates gives me way more bang for my nutritional (and calorie) buck. I FEEL so much better when I pay attention to the nutritional value of the foods I’m eating! My life coach really provided the missing element in changing my lifestyle. Through our work together, I learned to face the issues (guilt and fear of judgment were big for me) that led to not only weight gain, but to other ways I was holding myself back in my life.

Looking back, what was the most important element to losing weight successfully — and keeping it off?

The most important element to losing weight successfully was giving myself permission to make my health a priority. I think this is a huge issue for many women, especially mothers. We often get so caught up in looking after everyone and everything that we let ourselves slip to the bottom of the priority list. I’ve learned that when I take the time to prepare a healthy meal – even if I’m the only one eating – or make time for my workout even though I’m super busy, I’m teaching my kids that taking care of their health is important. It’s one thing to talk to kids about good health, but it’s entirely different to be a healthy example.

Now to your book, “You’d Be So Pretty If….Teaching Our Daughters To Love Their Bodies–Even If We Don’t Love Our Own.”    How much of our body image is learned from our Mothers?

I think we learn a lot about body image from our mothers. As girls, we watch her to see what it means to be a grown-up woman. If we see her constantly worry about weight and appearance, we learn that that’s what grown women should worry about – and maybe we should, too.

As women, we have a lot of guilt issues around food, our weight and our body.  We’ll say things like “I really shouldn’t have this piece of cake” or “I’m going on a diet on Monday” — what effect does this have on our daughters? 

I think it’s so important for our daughters to see us take a balanced approach to our health and our bodies. Yes, we should try to take care of our health by eating well most of the time and exercising in a way that makes sense for our lives. But they also need to see us enjoying ourselves, too. If you’ve decided to have a piece of cake, then have it without a single comment about how you shouldn’t be eating it or will somehow need to make up for eating it later. In other words, make the conscious decision to have the cake and then simply enjoy it – and let her see you enjoy it.

In my work, I help women not only lose weight, but have a better relationship with food AND with their bodies.  What is the effect of body image in losing weight successfully — and keeping it off?

During my year with Shape, one of the most important things I learned is to accept the limits of my own genetics. I’m not talking about a “giving up” attitude; rather, I’m talking about a realistic picture of what health and fitness looks like in the body that I’ve been blessed with. Reaching that point really made a difference in how I’ve come to see my body. I’m five feet tall with a curvy frame – no amount of exercise will ever make me grow taller or make those curves disappear, even if I wanted them to. But by taking care of my health, I can have the best five-foot-tall curvy frame that I can. Embracing that notion – of making the most of who I am, instead of trying to change myself into something I’m not – takes the pressure off weight loss. Now, it’s just about being healthy and being myself. 

When mothers are trying to lose weight, should they not talk with their daughter about it?  Should they just avoid discussing the subject of weight in general with her?  What’s the best approach?

My daughter was 11 when I wrote the Shape column, so we had lots of talks about “weight.” But I also tried to put weight into the context of good health. She’s a really smart kid, so she was able to grasp the pressure of the monthly weigh-ins for the magazine but when that column ended, we ditched the scale. I think it’s best to substitute the term “getting healthier” for “losing weight.” If you’re making the effort to exercise and eat healthy foods, then you’re already well on your way to “getting healthier.” Don’t make it only about a number on a scale or dropping a size (sure those are ways to measure progress, but there are other ways, too). Make it about benchmarks like, “Look how much farther I was able to walk today” or “Look how toned my calf muscles are from our running sessions.” Above all, speak kindly about your body, even if you think you’re a long way from what you’d consider “perfect.” It will make a difference to her – and to you.

Writing the book — how did it transform you personally?

I loved every moment of writing this book! I especially loved talking to the women and girls that I interviewed – they were all so smart and funny and engaging. 

What would be the one thing my readers can do to start to break the cycle of negative body image?

Breaking the cycle of negative body image starts with an awareness, first and foremost, that what you say about and do to your own body affects how your daughter will feel about her body. When you’re tempted to say something critical or nasty about yourself, don’t. Sometimes, it can be that simple and it’s a great way to start. 

Thanks Dara!  Her book You’d Be So Pretty If…: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies — Even When We Don’t Love Our Own is published by Da Capo Lifelong Books and can be purchased at Amazon.com or at bookstores nationwide.

©2010 Eat Without Guilt. All Rights Reserved.