Why Waiting to be Skinny Could be Hazardous to Your Health

Over the past couple of years I’ve had the opportunity to talk to women around the country, and around the world.  I’ve spoken to women in living rooms, at conferences, at talks I give and workshops I hold.  I’ll even add that I’ve “spoken” to women on social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook.  and of course, working with my clients — both in person and over the phone — I’ve spoken to hundreds, if not thousands, of women.

And one thing I see over and over again are women putting their life on hold – waiting until they hit some magic number (whether it be a pants size or the bathroom scale) to find happiness.

Whether a woman is from the Birmingham Alabama or Birmingham in the U.K., San Jose California or San Jose in Costa Rica….there is a mindset that is holding many of us back from living a more meaningful life.  Too many women are putting their life on hold until they hit that magic number to start living, and unfortunately they miss out on a lot of while waiting for their lives to begin.  We use the “if only” scenario:

“If only I could lose 20 pounds…”

“If only I could fit into my skinny jeans…”

“If only I were thinner, taller, better looking…”

“If only I could resist that fattening dessert….”

If only….

The issue is not on your plate.  And the solution is not in some diet.  It’s about looking at and and re-evaluating your entire life, not just your weight.

Do We Really Have it All?

All too often I meet women who have it all:  a great career, a loving husband, wonderful children, a house, and a great personality.  Yet they tell me they DON’T remember many times in their life because they were too busy dieting, hating their body, and waiting for that magic number to appear on the scale.

Are you waiting to be skinnier to really begin living YOUR life? A lot of us are.  And I used to be there. And I can tell you this obsession with our pants size and the scale is a waste of time.

When you find peace with food, your body, and stop the obsession – THAT’S when the weight starts to come off, and for good.  That’s when the yo-yo dieting finally ends and we get to the weight we’d like to be.

We all know how to lose weight, and serial dieters are often good at that.  But they have a difficult time keeping it off.  Those 5, 10, then 50 pounds creep back on. But to truly taste and enjoy food, eat from a place of pleasure (and not gluttony or even denial); to come from a place of trusting yourself and your body – that is a LIFE.  And that is when you lose the weight.

But to get there – to a place where you realize you are not flawed, you are not broken, and you are not a bad person – you need to look deeper into why food and/or hating your body takes the place of fulfillment in your life.

Your purpose in life has never been to lose the same 10, 20 or 50 pounds over and over again.  With the right tools you can stop your struggle with food, end the war with your body, and find out what you’re really hungry for (hint:  it’s probably not food) and you’ll be on a path to joy, peace, and a sense of self that no diet plan or low-fat food can give you.

So find your way back to your whole self, not just the one who steps on a scale.

But do get healthy, do get back to a weight where you can feel sexy, confident, and full of energy.   But do it in a way that supports you, not denies you the way constant dieting does.

And getting to this place of peace cannot always be done alone.  Whether it’s from a support group, friends, a therapist, or a weight-loss and body image coach, it’s empowering to know you’re not in this alone.  Getting support to help you understand your habits, your way of looking at food, your body, and your life are important.

Remember, your life is worth more than the number of calories you consume during the day, or the number of reps you do at the gym.  You should design the life you desire.  And before doing that, you have to look at what’s been holding you back.

And then you will taste something amazing, bursting with flavor and aroma.  Something that food or a diet could never replace – the taste of life.